I think the worst regrets in life are those where you didn’t try out something you really wanted. So I think that’s my life lesson to you all: Don’t dream – DO!
I have had a very short distance between dream and do throughout life. Life is too short to waste on just thinking about things and I might have jumped into action too early sometimes, but I have very seldom regretted it. Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I am no naive American Dream Advocate saying you can reach any goal you set in front of you. I’m also not saying you should dropout school to become an influencer/rap artist/soccer champion. I’m just saying that doing is a lot more satisfying than just dreaming. Start learning video editing techniques, write your own rapping lines, practice you beats and start doing magic tricks with your football. It might not bring you the whole way to success but you will be happy that you tried and you will throw yourself into your next project with renewed energy and belief in yourself and your ability to try things out.
I have had a successful work life. I have more university exams than needed, because I just love to learn new things and skills. They say that most people have a comfort zone they like to spend their time within: a zone of routine and stability that give people their sense of belonging and solace. If that is so I might be a zone traveler. I like to expand boundaries, both my own and other’s.
She is a real talker that one, though claiming she is a doer, isn’t she?
Well. It started at age 16. I felt suffocated by small minded classmates and although I loved school, I quit senior high school and chose another path. None of my parents have had a straight road in life and I enjoyed my detour a lot, meeting several people that I still consider friends. I collect friends like precious gems found on different roads in life.
Inevitably I ended up at university. Oh, the joy of learning! The greatness in expanding your vocabulary, your ability to see how things connect and work ,and the knowledge of confidence that you can be a part of change in the world. My first job was to find communication solutions to children with disabilities. I might have had time to change a few lives before the itch to learn more forced me to take action. I met my husband, I started to do my PhD, we moved to the countryside, had children and I started to work at the university. I think I have been important to many student over the years. I might have irritated a few with my high demands too. But I never demand from others things I do not demand from myself.
Two very different events changed the course of my life immensely. The first event was a quite low keyed one, as I took my youngest daughter to a birthday party once. In that party was a lady that charged to face paint the kids and my reaction was:
- Oh, she sucks at that!
I went home to prove myself better, practice and soon I went to international painting festivals, took courses, and won prices. There would be many other creative goals to go for after that. I started belly painting, I went ahead to do theatre prosthetics, dress up as ghosts and monsters and even take time off work to scare kids at the local amusement park just for fun. This was the first time in my life that I had developed some aesthetic skills. But not the last. I bought a ship and transformed it to a music club, I took improvisation theatre lessons and performed in plays at local theatres. I found a new way to express myself.
The second event was a really nasty one. After a change of management at my department at the university I got a new chief of staff. She was an outright bully, and no one stopped her. I got in her way too often and I got really burnt in the process. One day my previous boss entered my room and gave me a present. It was a project she had been working on in Kenya and she gave it to me saying that she thought I might need a change of scenery. I threw myself out and stayed in Kenya for four years with my family. Every day was an adventure, I got to know so many nice people, learn so many things, broadened my mind, caught malaria, got stabbed, but never regretted a moment. Meanwhile I took new university classes online and returned home to start working in a very different department of the university.
My work now is to help immigrants learning Swedish and assisting them in getting a job in Sweden. I am doing a great job. On the side I am a secular humanist officiant, dealing with funerals and weddings. I have published a children’s book, I have learnt how to sail and I still love meeting new people. I DO have a bucket list. But instead of dreaming about the tasks on the list I try to do them. And that will be my only advice to you, young people: Don’t dream – DO!
/Janna Aanstoot
PhD, author, teacher
Sweden
